We all know the kind of drama that goes down in our neighbourhood. If these actors were our neighbours, this is what our neighbourhood will look like.
Mercy Johnson and Queen Nwokoye
1. Pete Edochie: He is the daddy. He is the daddy to the daddyless on the street. The grandfather to the grandfatherless.
2. Patience Ozokwor: the mum that would make you break-up with the Love of your life, and make you marry a millionaire by force.
3. John "Mr Ibu" Okafor: This one is the neighbourhood idiot.
4. Kanayo O. Kanayo: Remember when your mummy said you shouldn't collect sweet from strangers so that you won't turn to yam? She was talking about Kanayo O. Kanayo.
5. Chiwetalu Agu: He's the man that everybody knows killed his brother's family to inherit the house.
6. Odunlade Adekola: This one just spends his days shouting about and being dramatic.
7. Francis Odega: He was your father's driver, then one day he won lotto and started forming big boy.
8. Funke "Jenifa" Akindele: This one will tell everybody that she was born in Paris, but somehow, she still speaks with conc Ibadan accent. Complete with the H factor.
9. Aki and Paw Paw: Neighbourhood terror. Period.
10. Hanks Anuku: He's always at the barbing salon, begging for money and telling people stories about when he was in America.
11. Mike Ezuruonye: Everybody suspects he's a cultist, but nobody has evidence.
12. Jim Iyke: His sister in the US sends him dollars every month, so he spends it on buying big speakers to disturb and impregnate all the girls in the area.
13. OC Ukeje: His mum thinks he's a good boy, but he spends all his free time with Hanks Anuku and the full bad gang.
14. Charles "Igwe Tupac" Okafor: This one did Yahoo Yahoo, but somehow, as he was receiving dollars, he was also receiving American accent.
15. Imeh "Okoh" Bishop: When he was leaving Calabar, they told him they were taking him to America, but the brought him to Lagos to do houseboy.
16. Amaechi Mounagor: He spends his days playing draft with his friends, or his bottle of Schnapps, or both.
17. Richard Mofe Damijo: He's hardly around, always travelling and forming fresh.
Every time he comes back from the Abroad, all the aunties will gather outside and be like,
18. Rita Dominic: She's that Aunty that's so hot, but you know that no matter what, she can only be the love of your life.
19. Tonto Dike: She is that girl everyone thought had destroyed her womb, but she was the first among all the girls to marry and have a child.
20. Mercy Johnson: She is that one that went from extreme bad girl to amazing mum. Some girls on the street are wondering why their market is still not selling like her own.
Mercy Johnson and Queen Nwokoye1. Pete Edochie: He is the daddy. He is the daddy to the daddyless on the street. The grandfather to the grandfatherless.
2. Patience Ozokwor: the mum that would make you break-up with the Love of your life, and make you marry a millionaire by force.
3. John "Mr Ibu" Okafor: This one is the neighbourhood idiot.
4. Kanayo O. Kanayo: Remember when your mummy said you shouldn't collect sweet from strangers so that you won't turn to yam? She was talking about Kanayo O. Kanayo.
5. Chiwetalu Agu: He's the man that everybody knows killed his brother's family to inherit the house.
6. Odunlade Adekola: This one just spends his days shouting about and being dramatic.
7. Francis Odega: He was your father's driver, then one day he won lotto and started forming big boy.
8. Funke "Jenifa" Akindele: This one will tell everybody that she was born in Paris, but somehow, she still speaks with conc Ibadan accent. Complete with the H factor.
9. Aki and Paw Paw: Neighbourhood terror. Period.
10. Hanks Anuku: He's always at the barbing salon, begging for money and telling people stories about when he was in America.
11. Mike Ezuruonye: Everybody suspects he's a cultist, but nobody has evidence.
12. Jim Iyke: His sister in the US sends him dollars every month, so he spends it on buying big speakers to disturb and impregnate all the girls in the area.
13. OC Ukeje: His mum thinks he's a good boy, but he spends all his free time with Hanks Anuku and the full bad gang.
14. Charles "Igwe Tupac" Okafor: This one did Yahoo Yahoo, but somehow, as he was receiving dollars, he was also receiving American accent.
15. Imeh "Okoh" Bishop: When he was leaving Calabar, they told him they were taking him to America, but the brought him to Lagos to do houseboy.
16. Amaechi Mounagor: He spends his days playing draft with his friends, or his bottle of Schnapps, or both.
17. Richard Mofe Damijo: He's hardly around, always travelling and forming fresh.
Every time he comes back from the Abroad, all the aunties will gather outside and be like,
18. Rita Dominic: She's that Aunty that's so hot, but you know that no matter what, she can only be the love of your life.
19. Tonto Dike: She is that girl everyone thought had destroyed her womb, but she was the first among all the girls to marry and have a child.
20. Mercy Johnson: She is that one that went from extreme bad girl to amazing mum. Some girls on the street are wondering why their market is still not selling like her own.
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